Under neon loneliness

As a lonely person, I'm afraid that people might notice my loneliness. When I go somewhere on my own, I'm often worried that people think I'm some kind of freak and that would be the reason why have no friends who come along with me. That is why I often miss movies or concerts I would like to see. I have nobody who comes along with me, instead I stay at home and write this alone in my bed.

Lately I found myself in a difficult situation. My favourite band - I have loved ever since I was 14 years old and I have always felt a special connection to all their songs ever since I heard them for the first time - came to town. My friends didn't apprechiate their music the way I do, were out of money or had not time. I had a difficult choice to make: going there on my own and feeling ashamed of my loneliness or missing the opportunity to see my favourite band, who can sing about my little empire of mind like nobody else does?

After contemplating for a week, I bought the ticket. On the day of the concert, the band came on stage forever delayed. (In reality, it was two hours). But this way, they gave me the opportunity to observe the beautiful freaks at the concert:
Quite a number of them were on their own, more lonely people than I had thought there would be in this town. I could tell that they were lonely by the way they behaved. They did the same things I do, when I feel uncomfortable with being on my own. They wandered around, looked around themselves nervously and then sat close to a group or another lonely person. They often took out their moblies, pretenting that they waited for a call from a friend who was late - they knew the phone call would never come but they wanted to make the people around them believe they were alone because they were waiting for somebody.

I somehow felt superior to them because I recognized their behaviour. I smiled at a lonely girl who sat down next to me pretending that we belonged together. The smile said - I know how you feel - but I didn't dare talking to her. Nevertheless, I did not feel lonely anymore.

When the band finally came on stage, I was somehow glad that I was on my own. It was just the band that I had loved for years, the sex appeal of the lead singer, the music and me, and an auditorium full of underdogs like me. No boyfriend around, who would destroy this magic with his sarcasm.